My addiction

I'm completely addicted to jersey shore! I remember when it first showed and me and jake watched every single episode! Now we haven't been able to :/ but as soon as he moves in I'm going to get him all caught up. Im sook excited omg he finally comes home in about 5 days couldn't be any more happier :) life is going to be sooooo good once again!! Yay

ohh man

Soooo..  I fell tonight during our half timer performance. yay! lol no it hurt sooo bad, I still dont understand what happen. I went up for a stunt and got up really good! Like i stood up fast and was solid but then when i went to go hit my lip my ankle rolled under me and popped. ouch that shit hurt and i still had to go on with the rest of the dance. but it feels better now thank god!  well ive been on a diet now for about 2 weeks and im feelin alot better about myself. I feel slimer and look slimer :) and that nakes me very happy.

Sick. Being sick. Why does it have to suck sooooo bad? What's the point of making us suffer even if we do take care of our bodies? I've been sick for a while and you can even ask Jacob I take care of my body and eat real food not junk food so why am I sick? It sucks sooooo much too the air throats achy body head aches damn they all are the worst! Not to mention the coughing if you have that an the runny nose. Even if you take meds it will take you a while to get better and that's the worst part is having to go through normal everyday life while feeling like shit. You just want to go home and sleep and not wake up until you were better lol I only wish that could happen or I wish I wouldn't ever get sick! Now thy would be pretty great but too bad sickness will always be there.

Soo close..

Only 2 and 1/2 more months my love! Then you'll be moved in with me finally :)  I can't stop thinking about our Santa Cruz tripn and the weekend you got to stay the night at my house! Your aunt would kill you if she found out hahah but it was such a great time. I miss falling sleep next to you and your face being the first thing I see when I wake up. My sheets smelled like you for the first two night and it only mader it harder for me to go to bed without you. Even our puppy was confused! :)  well babe im real excited for the life we have ahead of us, If only time would go by faster!  Our life is going to be more then amazing!!! Just stay strong baby and stay positve. We can make it through this, were already half way there. Forever 'Never my love<3

hmmm..

Im not happy with life anymore... I can't seem to find the will power or a reason to even wake up in the mornings. I miss the way life use to be, I miss the glow in your eyes and the smile you  always had on your face.  My heart is cold, empty and full of hatred.  I always thought I was a strong person. I've been through hell and back, and thought I could handle anything.. but when you take the one person in my life that means everything to me, I lost it..  Things WILL get better, I will find happiness with myself once again and he will be by my side through everything like he's always been. He's my rock.  Im trying  .. wish me luck.....

...

I'm not perfect, not even slightly close to it. I can be the biggest bitch in the world and not even give a second thought. Thats not the person I want to be. . .  Changing into something was easy for me, I changed without even realizing it. Changing out of it seems to be a lot more challenging...
 I hate carrying around all this anger, Its slowly bringing me down. Its making me push away the one boy whos been here for me now matter what.  He never once judged me or my past. He pushed it a side and fell in love with the person I became. He's been more then perfect to me and I act as if im not satisfied. Its not him, Im not satisfied with myself.  There so many things about my life that I wish I could change. I don't want to be Amy anymore.

032909

"Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker." <3

"Everyone says love hurts, but that isn't true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt."